I’m A Great Mum

I’m a great mum.

Really, I am, and most probably so are you (well, unless you’re not a mum in which case I’m sure you’re great anyway).

I know you’re probably giving me one of those coy sideways glances now, thinking:

“Me?

No… Really?…Me?”

Yes. Really. You.

It’s true, even if you don’t think it sometimes (OK, most of the times).

The other day I dared to voice this opinion out loud, to my own mother of all people. She was shocked. Gave me a disapproving look and asked in a hushed tone, “You don’t tell other people you think that, do you?” She looked very relieved when I reassured her I didn’t. So I’m guessing this won’t be her favourite blog post of mine. But I have decided to break the silence and admit it, I’m a great mum and I don’t care who hears it.

Apparently it’s not very British to think we are any good at things. And certainly not to admit that to others. Even worse still if you’re a women (which most mums are).

As parents we are surrounded by people, books and bloody blogs, telling us that we need to do more of this and less of that, oh but maybe a little bit more than that. Otherwise we risk making our child scared/ shy/ thuggish/ uncaring/ unmotivated etc. etc. (delete as appropriate). My favourite piece of recently released advice was that anxious parents pass on their anxiety to their children. Let’s just think about that piece of information for a moment – I don’t deny that it may be scientifically correct, but exactly how will knowing that help (anxious) parents?

I’ve been on forums where I’ve given words of encouragement to other mums that their approach is fine. But I’ve lost count of the number of times other mums, including those who run so called parenting advice websites, jump in to tell me I’m “wrong”. Seriously, unless it’s actual neglect (as defined by social services) there really isn’t a wrong way to bring up a child. There isn’t a wrong food to give them, or way to feed them; there isn’t a wrong way to encourage them to sleep or to teach them to read. So mums, just keep doing what you are doing and know that, just like me, you are doing great.

People don’t worry about being a good daughter/ sister/ brother/ friend so why do we spend so much time worrying if we are a good mother? Why can’t we just be content with who we are? Why can’t others be content with who we are? Why do they feel the need to force their parenting approach on others? Or give disapproving glances across the room at a wedding/ toddler group/ restaurant. Not everyone needs to accept your parenting mantra for you to feel vindicated that you are doing a good job. You are doing a bloody great job. But so is that other mum who’s doing the exact opposite.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean I don’t make mistakes with my son. I make loads of them, but I tell him I’m sorry and I move on. At the end of the day what actually matters is that I love him and I care for him as best I can and that makes me, me, and eventually that will play a part in making him, him.

As women we aren’t supposed to think positively about ourselves; whether it’s the friend on a night out who bashfully denies that she is looking good, or a colleague who makes a self-deprecating joke about her latest presentation not being that great. But we, as women are great. We are great women, and we are GREAT mums and the sooner we realise that, the greater we will become.

Some of you may have a supportive co-parent who tells you what a great mum you are, but for those of us who are doing it alone, or are in difficult relationships, we may never hear those words. We need to say it for ourselves, and we need to say it for our fellow parents, lone or otherwise.

We are ALL bloody great!

PS. My mum does actually think I’m a great mum (no, honestly she does).

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Resources

This is the section where I usually put helpful links. But as you are all such bloody great mums you don’t need any resources. Just keep doing what you’re doing!

P.S. Just incase you think I’m like perfect or something, you might like this post where I talk about the times I’m not sure a great mum.