Mummy forgot my scooter when she came to pick me up from nursery today. On the way home she said she had a surprise to tell me when we got back. I wish the surprise had been my scooter. In the end she gave me a piggyback. But I prefer the scooter.
When we got home I ran in to find the surprise. I looked downstairs and upstairs but there wasn’t anything anywhere. She said we had to go upstairs so she could tell me but that didn’t even make any sense. When we sat on the bed she told me she was going to have a baby. I thought she meant now. I was so excited. Then she said the baby wouldn’t be here for six months, but it was in her tummy. I counted to six but the baby still didn’t come. She said months take longer than that. I hope they don’t take as long as a day at nursery. Mummy always picks me when it’s dark, it’s such a long day. I wish she picked me up when it was still light.
Mummy showed me a photo of the baby inside her tummy. The doctor took the photo. She said the baby is in her room. I don’t know why she said that because it’s definitely in her tummy, I can see it growing bigger! It was soooo dark in there. I couldn’t believe how dark mummy’s tummy could be. When you look at her tummy it looks so light. But she said inside it’s dark. Mummy asked if I wanted to see a video on the computer of a baby in a tummy. It was amazing. It was so big. Mummy said it wasn’t our baby on the computer but I think it was. I didn’t want her to ever change the screen I just wanted to look at the baby forever. When I pulled the screen back the baby got whiter. I don’t think our baby will be that white though.
The baby has an imbilical cord. Mummy said I had one and that’s why I have a tummy button. I don’t know why she has one though. She was never inside anyone’s tummy. She’s a mummy.
I went with mummy to the doctors to see the baby in her tummy. They put this thing on her tummy and then we could see our baby on the TV. It should be a girl because mummy was born first and she’s a girl, then I was born and I’m a boy, so the next one born should be a girl. It’s not though. I saw the willy so I know it’s a boy. Or it could have been the imbilical cord. I’m not really sure anymore. I don’t mind if it’s a girl or a boy.
I was the first one to speak to the baby. Mummy said he could hear me so I told him I’m his big brother. He can’t talk yet though. He’s zero. That’s crazy. I got to name him. He will be called hello-head. That’s my favourite name after poo poo head but mummy doesn’t like that name. I’m so excited about being a big brother. Best of all it means that I will ALWAYS be four years older than him. FOREVER!
I don’t know how she’s going to get out of mummy’s skin. I’m sure it must hurt for a baby to come out of your tummy. Mummy said she will come out of a hole called a vagina. I’m not sure what happens if she needs to poo though. How will the baby come out then? She showed me a picture on the computer but the vagina was so small and the baby so big so I still don’t understand. I asked if I could have a vagina. I want to have a baby in my tummy too and it would need a way to get out. I don’t want to cut my tummy open. That would hurt. Mummy said I couldn’t have a vagina because I was a boy. That’s not very fair. Mummy did say I could give someone my seed to make a baby though. I haven’t decided who to give my seed to yet. Mummy said it should be someone my age, but I don’t know anyone who is four. But when I said that, she changed her mind and said I couldn’t give them the seeds until I’m older. It’s so confusing. I wanted to give them to someone at nursery. I just wanted to make sure they were four.
It’s not all good having a baby in your mummy’s tummy though. She cries more now. It’s a bit crazy. Like the other day I told her, “I love you little bits and more than all the stars” and she cried. It made me laugh. I think it’s because having a baby in your tummy makes you not as strong. I give her cuddles and tell her she shouldn’t cry. Other nights her back hurts so much that she can’t get out of bed without me helping her. I think the baby must be really heavy. I don’t know how she’ll carry it when it comes out. I hope I don’t have to carry it. Although I am quite strong.
Mummy’s breasts have got really big too. I think they are full of milk. Mummy says the milk won’t come till the baby is here, then I think mummy will have all the milk in the world. The baby is very lucky. I used to drink mummy milk I can’t remember drinking it now, but I know I liked it. I wonder if mummy will give me some of the baby’s milk when it comes?
Sometimes I really miss the baby and want it to come now. Other times I remember that mummy won’t have any time to play with me when the baby is here. Then I think I really, really, really want the baby to stay inside forever and ever. I don’t want to lose my mummy. I don’t like it when babies cry and babies always cry. I don’t want it to knock all my things over that I build, babies are always doing that. It’s mean.
I didn’t ask mummy who the daddy was because me and the baby don’t have daddies. Papa* gave mummy his seed so I could be born. Most of the babies at nursery and the ones in books have a daddy. Thinking about the baby made me remember I don’t see my Papa and then I got sad when I thought about Papa never coming to visit me. Mummy said this baby doesn’t even have a Papa though, just a donor who gave the seed but we don’t know who he is. It’s SO hard to get the seeds to make a baby. I’m not sure why she didn’t just ask me for some of mine. I’m glad mummy found some so she could make this baby. I can’t wait to be a big brother. I want to be a big sister as well but I can’t because I don’t have a vagina. This vagina seems amazing, it gives you babies AND makes you a sister. I have a willy though, so I make seeds. Without the seed there wouldn’t even be a baby brother-sister so the seeds are special too.
When this baby is born I will be four years more than it forever more.
*My son doesn’t call his own father ‘daddy’ but calls him by the word ‘dad’ in his father’s language.
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