When your baby becomes a toddler it takes some serious adjustment. My baby became a toddler a little while ago, it’s just taken me a while to out what its all about! These are some of the changes I’ve been trying to get used to.
1. Sleep goes out the window. Yes I know i’s meant to be new born babies who are the worst, and let’s be honest – they pretty much are. But once they settle a little and you get used to the lack of sleep *most* parents get into a little (sleep deprived) groove. Then along come the toddler times. Now your little darling has a choice in whether s/he stays in the bed. In my experience they generally choose not to. Night terrors start, bedtime meltdowns are common because you know…well just because.
2. Their new found freedom is challenging. Like their ability to run faster than Usain Bolt, or their skills at jumping a cot like a pommel horse expert. Either way it leaves you dashing around like a mad thing. I spent Saturday at a kids festival – which in essence translates as spending the day on high alert as my son charged round all day. I needed to be ready to jump in at a seconds notice should he a) push over another child (tick), b) disappear and give me a heart attack (tick) or, c) go flying over (tick).
3. They know what they want and they know how to get it. You can’t fob them off now. Whatever it is, whenever it is. They want it NOW. If you mess with the system there is hell to pay. Personally I find it’s often a lot easier to give in. Who I am to dictate how my son lives his life anyway?
4. They can smell the chocolate. Literally. I used to get away with eating it whilst peeping behind the door, no chance I can do that now. Even if I eat it in the other room and come back through he smells it on me (and tries to ram his fingers in my mouth to get it out)!
5. You can start to talk with them. I love this. I was a bit crap at talking to my little one when he was really young for various reasons (see here for a depressing description) so when he started talking it came as a bit of a shock, but a good shock as it goes. He’s even started correcting me on things now (I imagine this is a skill that will come to the forefront in his teenage years).
6. Over tiredness is a real thing. I remember hating that phrase as a kid and I still hate it as a parent. But I have to kind of admit it is a real thing. The tears and upset from bumps and frustrations are much more related to how much sleep he has had, than how bad the actual incident is. However, whilst it’s really useful to know this, when you have a toddler who refuses to sleep on pain of death, it doesn’t really help on a practical level.
7. You start to feel guilty as you watch their insecurities come out. I hate the whole ‘mum guilt’ term that is regularly banded about. I think saying mums (never dads) feel guilty about so much – like going back to work/ sending them to nursery etc – is just a crappy way to actually make mums feel guilty about those things. Personally I don’t feel guilty about those things – they are not things we should even entertain as guilt-inducing activities. That said, now I see my sons insecurities coming out I am starting to fear what impact I’m having on him. For my son its an overly pronounced interest in people’s happiness and whether they are about to cry.
8. You lose your patience. (Please tell me this isn’t just me!). I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s because around the time of toddler-hood is also when postnatal depletion reaches an all time high so you have no strength for patience any more (in other words – if you’re an average parent – you’ve faced too many demands without enough resource for Far.Too.Long). Or perhaps it’s as you witness your child more able to fend for themselves your expectations grow. Whatever it is I’ve found myself less patient with my son’s toddler tears than I was with his baby ones (although I am trying to work on this).
9. They become real little people. I loved it when my son was a baby. When he first became a toddler I struggled with many of these changes. As the toddler times progress though it turns out I love this phase too. Admittedly perhaps I just love my son; it’s amazing to watch this little butterfly emerging from his cocoon. Seeing what makes him laugh and cry. Witnessing how he handles conflict with his friends. Observing him analysing the world around him. It’s pretty awesome.
10. Its hilarious as fuck. Toddlers are hilarious. Fact. There are so many funny comments and moments. Last night he told me, “mummy I don’t have a shadow, its too dark, I’m not here!”. The other day at bedtime he asked, “Where’s the sun gone? It’s lost!” His favourite thing on train journeys is to point out all the castles. No dear, they aren’t castles, just pylons (OK, admittedly I should probably get him out more).
Are you in the toddler times? What changes have you noticed? What are the best and worst adjustments you’ve had to make?
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