It’s an irony that’s hard to get around… If you’re a single mum, chances are you went through a lot to gain your single status; divorce and separation aren’t the only ways to single motherhood, but they are the most common. Once you’ve got out of some shit awful relationship and learned to deal with…
Failure
18 Tips To Deal With An Absent Dad
Absent dads are a hugely sensitive topic. Absent usually means the non-existence, however, absent dads can be more complicated than that. We often don’t know if dad is gone for good, or if/ when he may return. Infrequent or sporadic contact can be equally, if not more, challenging to deal with. Seventeen percent of fathers…
Life After Divorce: A Letter To My Newly Divorced Self
Dear Newly-Divorced-Me, It’s you here, well me – only now I’m three years into this divorce malarky so I’m a bit more clued up than you – the me of yesteryear. I remember the first day you were alone. It was hell. Actually scrap that, hell requires you feel the pain. You were numb and everything…
When Fertility Treatment Fails
I was trying to work out my dates the other day. They’re scrawled in one of my many notebooks, a simultaneous mess of scribbles and dates. My cycles vary from super short (the stimulated ones) to super long (the aborted stimulated ones) with a few in betweeners (the rare natural cycles I’ve had in recent…
My New Year’s Resolution: When Being Selfish Is Kind
My new year’s resolution this year is clear, simple and to the point. I’m going to be selfish. By the end of last year I was at breaking point (again). Most nights ended up in tears (mine, and occasionally little man’s), I got angry in a way I never wanted to and at times it…
Everyone Hates Me
“Everyone hates me,” I sobbed through the phone. It was 11pm on Sunday evening and I’d called my mum because, let’s face it, who else can you call at 11pm when you’re a blubbering mess*. “Don’t be stupid” she said. It didn’t help. As I write this I want to say I didn’t used to…
Getting Divorced – Divorce Monday
January is the most popular month for getting divorced. Over twice as many people file for divorce this month as file for it in the second most popular month – September (I’m guessing the school holidays are to blame then). The first working Monday in January is termed “Divorce Monday” because it’s the most popular day to file…
When Your Husband Suffers Psychosis
Trigger warning – this post talks in detail about psychosis and mental health. It may be upsetting for people who have experienced psychosis or seen others suffer. The blogs I have read on mental illness tend to be clean and tidy. The moral is clear – goodness wins out in the end. I can only assume that an unspoken,…
My Divorce Is a Sign of Strength
If we don’t know personally, then we’ve surely all heard how marriage is hard work, especially once children enter the mix. There are so many posts about it; beautiful ones about the struggles and joys of married life,* and others which, quite frankly, border on the offensive – emphasising how nowadays people aren’t cut out for the hard work…
Shooting On Our Estate: A Street Of Two Tales
The other week I returned home to the news that there had been a shooting on our estate. No deaths thankfully, but the kids (and they were kids) in the neighbouring flats were involved. Suddenly the reality of London newspaper headlines were strewn across my street. Only this was a lot more real than any newspaper story…