After the nausea and dizziness of the first trimester, I was really holding out for the second trimester to be easier. I remember it being physically pretty easy first time round – it was the emotional side that was a real struggle then. I didn’t relax with my son until I was about 27 weeks…
Mental health
Coming Off Antidepressants When Pregnant
When I first started taking antidepressants, pregnancy was a wishful fantasy. Nevertheless, I made sure I went on one which could be taken in the unlikely event miracle I became pregnant. Fast forward just over a year, and when I first saw my doctor after finding out I was pregnant she raised the issue of my antidepressants.…
My New Year’s Resolution: When Being Selfish Is Kind
My new year’s resolution this year is clear, simple and to the point. I’m going to be selfish. By the end of last year I was at breaking point (again). Most nights ended up in tears (mine, and occasionally little man’s), I got angry in a way I never wanted to and at times it…
Solo Mum Waiting To Take A Pregnancy Test
There are two weeks between insemination and taking a pregnancy test. This unit of measurement glosses over all that entails though; the 14 days; the 336 hours; the 20, 160 minutes; the 1, 209, 600 seconds. Each and every single one of those is felt in excruciating detail when you’re in the midst of the…
Moving House – Memories: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
I slump; slowly, into the sofa. It’s not the physical exhaustion of packing that’s getting to me. I can handle placing crap into a box. It’s the crap which is escaping that I’m struggling to deal with. They say moving home is stressful, but I hadn’t bargained for the emotions to come out faster than I could tape…
The Unwanted Guest
Bounce, bounce, bounce, goes the ball. Hitting the patio, over and over again. It’s not me. It’s not my son. Despite it being the hottest day of the year so far, we are locked up, inside the house. “You’re clever and intelligent but sometimes you do stupid things. Don’t do the stupid thing today.” The ball…
Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum and Dad
There weren’t many dry eyes amongst those of us who watched Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum and Dad. I haven’t experienced the death of a close relative, even the prospect of it scares the hell out of me. Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum and Dad isn’t a documentary only about grief though, it shows many of the universal truths about unchosen single…
Everyone Hates Me
“Everyone hates me,” I sobbed through the phone. It was 11pm on Sunday evening and I’d called my mum because, let’s face it, who else can you call at 11pm when you’re a blubbering mess*. “Don’t be stupid” she said. It didn’t help. As I write this I want to say I didn’t used to…
When My Ex Threatened Court
Sometimes things move so quickly with my ex that I struggle to know what’s happening. In the last six weeks my ex threatened court, tried to be daddy of the year and, most recently, disappeared off the face of the earth. Let’s start at the beginning. My ex was out of the country for a few weeks…
When Co-Parenting Fails: The Reality
This is my story of when co-parenting fails. Two years after separating, it seems almost comical now how naive my initial expectations of co-parenting were. At the start I believed those advice pieces about the importance of creating a strong co-parenting relationship. I thought that the first time my son had a 40+ temperature his dad would…