Or as I prefer to call it, fucking online dating.
I’m back in the hell hole that is swiping, profiles and dickpics.
Actually, to be fair I’ve never received an unsolicited dickpic. (I’ve also never received a solicited one, mainly because I’ve never solicited one).
Anyway, back to reality. These are the issues I have with online dating.
- The men
- The men
- The men
OK, I think you get the picture; it’s the men.
On the whole they ask for independent, accomplished, feisty women. Tick, tick and a big humongous tick. I should be on to a winner here.
However, there is one big issue. They want us to have achieved all this BUT with less grey hairs and fewer wrinkles than they have. That’s right they want us to be significantly YOUNGER than they are.
Why the fuck do men do this? Why do they all give an age range significantly younger than themselves? Women (usually) put down an age range spanning a few years younger than them to a few years older. Seems reasonable enough to me. Men – yes ALL men* – put an age range from (if we are lucky) a year or two their junior, down to (just about) legal. I’m fast approaching 40. I went online last night and was pleased to see a man whose range was up to 40 he looked OK. But on closer inspection he was 50. Nothing wrong with being 50. However, why was he only willing to chat and meet with people at least ten years YOUNGER than him? He’s willing to date women as young as 25 FFS. That’s HALF his fucking age. Again, nothing wrong with that. But why the hell won’t he consider someone HIS age? I don’t mind dating an older man. I do, however, mind dating a man who will make me feel like he will want to replace me for a younger model at any second. If I’m at the top end of his dating scale now, what happens come my next birthday? Am I spat out?
One guy I was reviewing stated he wanted someone who was accomplished in their own right. He wanted someone (and I quote) “CLOSE to an equal”**. What the fuck does that mean? You want someone equal in accomplishment, yet you do NOT and I repeat do NOT want someone equal in terms of age. This dude was a little more generous in his age restrictions, stating he was interested in women aged 24-34. He himself was only 35. So he was willing for them to be between one to ELEVEN years younger than him – not a day older. Perhaps that’s what CLOSE to equal means. CLOSE to having as many grey hairs and wrinkles, but not quite there.
The biggest issue I have with this is that men DIE on average FIVE YEARS YOUNGER THAN WOMEN. So this means, all these selfish brats trying to secure themselves someone younger than themselves are likely to FUCK off for the afterlife leaving us CLOSE to equal partners stranded for – on average – between five to THIRTY years after their death. I know lots of HAPPY couples where the man is younger than the woman. There isn’t an intrinsic reason why men need to be older than women for a relationship to be happy. Yet time and time again, even on sites which are supposedly full of left-leaning (self-proclaimed) feminists, we are only of interest to those older than ourselves. If anything the average age of death shows quite clearly why nature intended things to be the OTHER WAY ROUND.
So, can men out there stop being quite so narrow minded. You’re online dating for God’s sake. Things haven’t turned out quite how you planned (in all likelihood), can’t you just widen your expectations a little and be open to someone who IS actually your EQUAL in age and accomplishment and whatever else???
*OK, potentially it’s not ALL men, but it IS 99.9% of them based on my own research because I have ALL the time to review profiles as I don’t have any actual online dating messages to respond to.
** My capitals.
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