Know a single parent? Not sure what to get them for Christmas? But you want to get them something they want? Something they really, really want? Look no further, this is the perfect single mum Christmas gift guide with something for all wallets. (I’ve written this for single mums but they are all also perfect presents for single dads too).
1. Babysitting/ childcare vouchers
It’s a no brainer, right? One human adult + one (or more!) human little = exhaustion. All single mums needs a break. So give her one. I don’t know if you can actually buy babysitting vouchers, but you can make some. When my niece was a baby I gave her parents some babysitting vouchers for Christmas, I figured she already had enough plastic tat to see her through another year, surely what would be really nice would be getting to spend time with me(!), and her parents having a break. Two points to note though, single mums tend to (have to) be very independent, that means they aren’t great at asking for help, so keep reminding them to use them up! Also, don’t assume they only want babysitting at night time, childcare during the day can be an even greater treat for parents. As much as they love their little darlings, they might want to miss out on some of the time when they are awake, rather than fast asleep.
2. Photos
Every single mum I know laments how few photos she has of her and her littles. More often than not there’s literally no one else to hold the camera, leaving us with a few crappy selfies at best. The best approach is taking shots throughout the year and then print them up for Christmas. I’ve been surprised twice by friends with a photo calendar with pictures of my family and both times I’ve been blown away. Not just becuase of the end result but because of the time and effort that went into it. If you don’t own a camera or think you’re shooting skills are lacking, you could always invest in a photoshoot voucher.
3. Books about single parenting
This is probably more for the children, but it gets pretty annoying reading books which don’t represent our family over and over. Single parent families originate from a host of situations: divorce, donor conception, surprise, adoption. You might need to search high and low for the ‘right’ kind of single parent book that suits your friend/ family member, but trust me it will be worth it. (Hint, hint, that means the typical mummy and daddy still love you but decided to live in separate houses and you’ll still see them both is a big NO, NO for many of us single/solo mums). I’ve listed a few good options here, and if you can find some nice single parent adult books for her too then all the better. When you live outside the nuclear norm (and despite there being two million of us, we are still far from the norm according to mainstream society) then having the chance to read about your own setup can be empowering.
4. Set her up on a date
Warning: This might not be for everyone so make sure she’d appreciate this before you get too far in your planning. However, a lot of single parenting chat (in my friendship group anyway) is about dating and the trials and tribulations of (mainly) tinder. So far none of us appear to have been successful. Personally I’ve all but given up. So if you’re besties with a single parent, have a think about what type of man/woman she would be in to. Now scour your address book, face book profile and work email list to see if there is anyone, ANYONE, who might fit the bill. Ask around. Maybe someone you know has a link to someone eligible. Once you’ve got yourself a shortlist, get booking in some dates. For any real chance of success you’d probably need to combine this one with gift number 1.
5. Pamper her
Single mums do everything for their kids and their homes. They lug the little ones round, do the DIY, shopping, cooking, all the works. As you can imagine this takes its physical, as well as emotional, toll on us. Many of us rarely experience physical touch from anyone other than a small person, and that isn’t always the most loving. Pampering is the next best thing to a big warm hug, or some tender touch. Get her a massage, a manicure, a makeover, whatever she’d appreciate. Since becoming a single parent I’ve rarely paid for any pampering; a haircut is about a once a year occurrence at super cuts. The other year a friend gave me massage voucher (plus a babysitting voucher, see gift number 1 – there’s a reason why it’s in the top spot). It was AMAZING! Us single parents might not all be living in poverty, but for most of us surviving on one income is a challenge and paying for anything for yourself gets sidelined. Give the girl some love!
6. Plan a weekend day trip together
Weekends can be lonely times for single mums, all those part timers/ maternity leavers/ SAHMs who are keen to hang out in the week disappear back to their partners at the weekend and you’re left holding the baby – literally. Plan a nice daytrip. It doesn’t even have to cost any money. For single parents it often means a hell of a lot to be able to look forward to spending a day with friends. It doesn’t matter if you have kids or not, but make it kiddie friendly (unless of course you’re combining with gift number 1).
7. Suggest a holiday together
Similar to gift number 6 but pushing the boat out a little further, why not suggest a holiday together. You don’t have to offer to pay for it (I’m assuming that’s out of most people’s price ranges, but hey, if you’re feeling flush go for it). Just like friends seem to fall by the wayside at weekends once you’re a single mum, friends who want to travel with you become rarer than sleep for a single mum. I’ve always been into my travel, and I scrimp and save on literally EVERY other aspect of my life to ensure I can still do this, but most travel buddies no longer seem interested in going on a group jaunt. Make her day, ask her to go with you next time you’re planning something, single mums are still the same person they used to be, chances are if you used to holiday together before she’d love to go again.
8. A cleaner
We are constantly hearing how we should be cherishing the moments with our littles. When it’s just you doing EVERYTHING, then the moments that are free for such cherishing are sadly limited. Cleaners can be booked on line globally so you don’t need to be there to pop over and help out. Do your friend a favour that she will never forget – book a cleaner to come round and sort the house for her.
9. Useful gadgets
Keeping on top of the life/ home admin tasks can be hard as a single parent. Useful gadgets can help minimise the time needed to keep on top of everyday tasks. Each family will have different needs but here’s a few suggestions. A handheld hoover to help clean up after messy little eaters, a heated clothes horses to speed up the whole laundry process nightmare, a slow cooker for the mum who’s out at work all day (and some quick recipe suggestions to go with it), the swoop is great for mums with lego enthusiasts – use it as a play mat and then just swoop it all up at tidy up time!
10. Sleep
Saving the best one till last. I have no idea how you get this and certainly no idea how you wrap it up and fit it under a Christmas tree but if you can work it out then trust me, you will have made this woman’s Christmas.
If you are interested in hearing more from me, you can follow my blog on facebook. Just go to my page here and give me a like to stay up to date with my latest blogs. I’m also available on twitter @EllamentalMama and Instagram: @Ellamental_Mama